school: caiman

[shaft]

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WEEK 2, MONDAY - FARMS.

[headsplitter]

[ Caiman is out here by the farms, picking up a few handheld farming tools and giving them a swing. Seeing what works efficiently as a weapon! And he doesn't notice the goat that comes up behind him and bites him in the ass. ]

Ow! Fuck -- lay off! I don't think I'm allowed to kill you but I'll put you in a pen and surround you with dogs!

[ The goat doesn't care. Help. ]

[shaft]

[ Surely Caiman can handle himself.

Claude watches him with a grin. ]

Making friends?

[headsplitter]

[ He can eventually, it's just a shipwreck until he eventually does.

He glances up at Claude with lizard scowl that's due to the goat, but it's not like he brightens up miles when he sees him either. ]

No! This thing bit me! [ In the butt! ]

[shaft]

It's just pulling your pigtails.

[ But he will walk over to gently guide the goat away...

Only to get headbutted for his efforts and knocked onto his ass. ]

[headsplitter]

I don't have a pig tail. [ Misunderstandings continue. But he watches Claude try to guide the goat away... and just get tackled down too. ]

Jeez, these animals are rough! I'm getting out of this shed! [ C'MON CLAUDE. ]

[shaft]

[ He sees no reason to disagree, so he hobbles to his feet to follow Caiman out.

Only to be headbutted AGAIN so he knocks into Caiman. Holding him like a delicate summer maiden... ]

[headsplitter]

[ Let's go Claude. It's touch week.

He's going to sweep this delicate summer maiden off his legs and just FLEE. Two whole grown-ass men defeated by a goat... which bleats after them and chases them down a little bit since they have made a mistake and shown weakness, but it'll eventually leave them alone when the effort isn't worth the funny anymore.

And then once they're gone, Caiman will immediately drop Claude rip. ]

[shaft]

[ Did you think your problems were over Caiman? Claude doesn't mind being dropped (he didn't love being carried), but as soon as they're safe, there's a shriek from above.

And a golden retriever sized white wyvern is descending from the sky onto Caiman's head. ]

[headsplitter]

[ It's fine it was instinctive. He pretty much let go immediately once they were away from goat anyway.

Except now he's being harrassed by another animal hello??? Caiman is immediately yelling incomprehensibly as he is accosted by this dog-dragon. ]

What the fu -- hey!

[ Can he grab at this and look at it??? He's trying. ]

[shaft]

[ She's essentially swooping down at him to avoid being caught, but she's also big enough that he can grab her eventually.

She will just shriek petulantly in his face. ]

Hey now, be careful. That's a dear friend of mine.

[headsplitter]

This is yours?!

[ Eventually with some fray he will get a hold of the her and just holds her / stares at her like you would do maybe a cat? Though not without fully absolutely making a fool of himself, as you do when you are Caiman Lastname. Insert Yakety Sax as bgm probably. ]

[shaft]

Yeah. Her name's Sahar.

[ Please let them end up with the wyvern curled around Caiman's shoulders like a scarf. ]

I think she likes you.

[headsplitter]

[ DONE AND DONE. Caiman looks super awkward about it and he's standing shock-still like if he moves, the wyvern's gonna bite him. But also it's new and he has never been so close to an animal before??? ]

Is this a real dragon...? [ Whispered. ]

[shaft]

[ He just laughs... Caiman is so cute. ]

She's a wyvern, not a dragon. She's not going to breathe fire or anything. You can give her a little pet.

[headsplitter]

What's the difference? Wyvern's smaller?

[ Okay, he will hold up a hand to her head... gingerly. ]

[shaft]

Dragons have four legs, she only has two. And yeah, wyverns are generally smaller.

[ She will rub against his hand... He's her boyfriend now. ]

[headsplitter]

[ Stop this is an extremely forbidden romance.

But nonetheless, Caiman will seen enthralled at the idea of an animal! Snugging up to him! His experience with animals very limited!! ]

Whoa!! Did you make friends with her here? Or is she one of those, like you got it from home with vouchers stuff?

[shaft]

I brought her from home. So all this is new to her.

[ ... ]

She's actually a war mount. So there's very little that can scare her.

[headsplitter]

Wait, like you ride on her?

[ Her dog size... Caiman's only used to the concept of riding vehicles and is probably familiar with the idea of riding horses, not that Caiman himself can ride any of them because of how big he is but. She's so small for a riding animal... especially compared to Caiman himself. ]

Wait, war?

[shaft]

She's normally three times as big. She had to be shrunk down to be allowed on campus.

But yeah, I normally ride her to war... Did I never mention that I'm a general in the army?

[headsplitter]

Oh!! Weird... how come you couldn't bring her in to start with like Lalli and Caleb did with their cats?

[ Petpet... ]

And nah, never heard that bit.

[ And a beat pause... ]

Hey, you still mad?

[shaft]

About the feud between our dorms? No, I know you weren't trying to sell me out.

[ ... ]

It's spiralled into quite a campaign against me though.

[headsplitter]

[ Looks away from the Claude Chaos. It only took one extra credit for Claude to turn into the school's buttmonkey...

Caiman just looks a little grumbly though. Yeah, that ended up getting a lot messier than he wanted it to be. He's only annoyed because he got stuck in a really weird spot between it all, he wouldn't have cared otherwise... maybe. ]

...Yeah. The hell was with that poster on Winter? You didn't do that?

[shaft]

No, I haven't even been back to the dorms since I left this morning.

Apparently I've become an easy scapegoat for them.

[headsplitter]

There's I think your underwear hanging from a flagpole outside Spring...

[ Just gives him a look like. Bro, your own dorm... ]