school: caiman

[shaft]

Comments

week 0, saturday

[shaft]

FROM: undying@Wiwaldi.edu

How strong would you say you are?

[headsplitter]

FROM: hungrybug@Wiwaldi.edu
TO: undying@Wiwaldi.edu

waho fhis.?
super dstrongalso

[shaft]

And do you get sick easily?

[headsplitter]

dnt7 trhink so havnet yet
who

[shaft]

Want to try something fun?

This is Claude.

[headsplitter]

sdtill duno who butt ok wwhere/

[shaft]

[ that hurts, but whatever ]

How about outside the Spring Dorm?

[headsplitter]

[ Don't worry about it he'll figure it out eventually. ]

k

[ And that's it, apparently. Wait like, however long, and find the biggest student in this campus just hanging around waiting. At least when he sees Claude's face he'll raise a hand at him. ]

[shaft]

[ Claude waves back, bright and cheery. ]

How're you settling in?

[headsplitter]

Okay, I guess! Bed's kinda small but it's actually pretty soft so I like it. Still no anti-spike pillows, though.

Waitin' for someone now, you?

[ Do the math, ]

[shaft]

[ caiman...... ]

Anti-spike pillows? What're those?

[headsplitter]

[ He points at his head. There's a couple of spikes that are just sticking out of special-made holes in the back of his mask. They're natural if Claude remembers from headchomp shenanigans. ]

Can't find a damn decent pillow that my head won't get stuck on every night.

[shaft]

[ Right... he hadn't thought about that. ]

If it's stuck to your head. That just means you won't lose it, right?

[headsplitter]

Would it be better that I didn't lose it than walking around with a pillow speared on my head like some idiot?!

[shaft]

You shouldn't worry so much what other people think. Think of it as being able to nap whenever you want.

[headsplitter]

But I'm ruining my pillow by poppin' it! They really should make pillows for lizard-headed people!

[ SUCH A NICHE MARKET. ]

[shaft]

Maybe you should try sleeping on your side. Or belly.

[ or on a rock like a real lizard ]

[headsplitter]

That's uncomfy though, I've got big shoulders! And sleeping on my stomach is just uncomfy period.

[ Choosing beggars. ]

[shaft]

Okay, well. It seems you have a lot to work out.

[ he holds out a mushroom ]

Do you want a snack?

[headsplitter]

A mushroom?

[ Oh. He holds up his hands. He looks... immensely troubled. ]

No thanks.

[shaft]

[ hmmm ]

You're not a fan of veggies?

[headsplitter]

[ Hrk -- ]

I like ohba! That's a leaf!

I just... don't care for mushrooms...

[ He makes a face... ]

I think?

[shaft]

[ Ohba? Did he just make something up. ]

Well, you won't know until you try. [ Still, he draws the mushroom back. ] But I'll warn you, this one made me a little sick.

[headsplitter]

Huh?!

Then why would you offer it to me if it made you sick! Don't poison me!

All mushrooms are just evil! I knew I sensed bad vibes, maybe I've got superpowers!

[shaft]

I asked you if you got sick, didn't I? [ hey!! ] I tested it on myself already, don't worry.

It just gave me an upset stomach.

[ (anna voice) it gives you the shits ]