headsplitter: My child just called me "sus"? ([052])

WEEK 3, MONDAY - HORSE?

[personal profile] headsplitter 2021-06-29 12:28 am (UTC)(link)
[ Horse class. Caiman is dead-eyed and now loaded with way more horse knowledge than he ever even thought he needed in his garbage life. And now it's the end of it and he thinks he's supposed to pick which one is... better??? He stares down at his notes (he tried to be a good student) then across at Claude who is now government assigned his partner/group member/however way they're doing this stuff. ]

...A horse killed a guy last week, cars are better.

[ Sorry professor that's just how it is. She looks like she's about to have an aneurysm for some reason. Caiman just glances over at her with a grimace because he thinks she's WEIRD.

Right then, though, Claude will get a very strange memory. It's fuzzy and it's hard to make out, kind of like trying to see it through bloody water. Watching from a platform above, he sees a guy be accosted by someone much larger. He seems to be offering the first guy some kind of deal -- wristbands that will amplify his smoke production, make his magic stronger, but for a ridiculous price. Threatening him in turn when he refuses to pay that price. A fight breaks out, the first guy immediately retaliating with a stake in that teacher's wrist.

'You bastard...! I won't forgive you. I'll erase you with my magic...!'

Then he -- the one who probably is the owner of this memory -- makes his timely appearance. Except it's not Caiman...? It's someone else, but his features are hard to make out, even with all the black and the gas mask.

'I heard aaaaall of that. All of it!' he says, lazily as he hangs down from a vent. 'So it's you, who's been hurting people then making students disappear, huh? It's time to stop the dirty business, teacher!'

The 'teacher' snarls, and threatens to erase them both -- because ██████ has been a thorn in his side for too long, anyway. But he takes out a knife from his jacket, and before the teacher can shoot his magic at them -- in the blink of an eye, his arms are sliced up and in pieces. He falls to the ground, passing out from the shock. ██████ squats down beside him, sighing.

'Aw shit. What do we do? When he wakes up, we're totally gonna get expelled...'

---

-- And then suddenly, like that, they're back.
]

...Whoa, what the hell was that?

'
headsplitter: Will my kid have green hair? ([076])

[personal profile] headsplitter 2021-06-29 01:09 am (UTC)(link)
[ My solitary leftover comma on my past post.................

Caiman looks back at Claude with just as much surprise. His mouth is bigger, but only physically.
]

Wh -- what do you mean what?! I don't know either!
headsplitter: Will my baby drown if I drink too much water (I am pregnant)? ([068])

[personal profile] headsplitter 2021-06-29 01:44 am (UTC)(link)
[ This class sucks ANYWAY. ]

It's -- er, I mean, but I don't -- [ Shit, how do words? ] But I don't remember that! I don't know who those people are...!
headsplitter: This question is for the boys? ([026])

[personal profile] headsplitter 2021-06-29 02:02 am (UTC)(link)
I do have amnesia! But that's...

[ You can almost SEE the lightbulb go off physically over his head. ]

SHIT, I can use this! To find out who I was!

Uhh, damn, no way to record a memory like that, is there?!
headsplitter: Atheists why don't you accept defeat? ([092])

[personal profile] headsplitter 2021-06-29 02:22 am (UTC)(link)
[ AAH. ]

No! I'm not gonna forget when I get to remember -- uh, does it count as remembering if I don't exactly remember it...? Or, whatever!
headsplitter: due to mental illness should I just hurt others physically ? ([091])

[personal profile] headsplitter 2021-06-29 04:41 am (UTC)(link)
[ He opens his mouth. And then abruptly closes it, if his mouth was a little bit bigger it could've made the crocodile bonk noise... but abruptly, he unlatches something from his belt.

A mask.
]

The guy... he was wearing this...

So does that mean...?
headsplitter: How am i sure I'm the real mom of my kid? ([024])

[personal profile] headsplitter 2021-06-29 12:51 pm (UTC)(link)
[ A hero? ]

Uh... [ Jeez, that's such a title to put on him. ] I don't think guys that maim and murder get to be called heroes?
headsplitter: due to mental illness should I just hurt others physically ? ([091])

[personal profile] headsplitter 2021-06-29 11:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Powers? I don't have powers, I'm just a human... guy...

[ His thought train slowing down, and even with his lizard head, it's plain that he's a shade paler. He's having a mild revelation but he's not sure he wants to think about it too hard. ]
headsplitter: If I really had the willpower could I lay an egg? ([053])

[personal profile] headsplitter 2021-06-30 12:01 am (UTC)(link)
N-no! Neither of the other guys used magic, did they! [ A stake and a knife. Logic would dictate that he's the one with the knife, right? ] B-but...

Was that a school for Sorcerers?

[ He is maybe not OK, ]
headsplitter: HELP MY NIPPLE FELL OFF!!!!? ([075])

[personal profile] headsplitter 2021-06-30 02:50 am (UTC)(link)
Uh --

[ Nope! Sorry, this class is ass anyway. Sorry Teach, he's leaving early. ]

No, I gotta go.
headsplitter: PHOTO... what kind of rodent is this? ([067])

[personal profile] headsplitter 2021-06-30 03:30 am (UTC)(link)
[ Maybe a good thing, question mark. Throws dramatics in here, since Caiman makes it out the door and pretty much immediately keels over clutching his head in pain. ]

Ugh -- I don't [ Hell. ] I don't get it... who am I?
headsplitter: Are you wasting your life? ([098])

[personal profile] headsplitter 2021-07-01 12:23 am (UTC)(link)
I don't, it would be weird as hell... and Vaux, he's a doctor, he checked me over and told me.

I'm human...

So was I there was a student? A janitor? Who the hell was I? But I -- I shouldn't be at a school for Sorcerers...
headsplitter: If you were to get a baby crocodile in Pennsylvania, where could you give it away? ([088])

[personal profile] headsplitter 2021-07-01 12:36 am (UTC)(link)
[ Aw geez. That's right, he never lore'd Claude (only vore'd...). ]

Being a Sorcerer isn't just about being able to use magic, it's a whole biological thing. They're a totally different race... apparently a bunch of you guys can just learn magic, but Magic Users can use 'em 'cause they have special organs to make smoke. Which is how magic happens.

[ For him it's kind of like the equivalent of finding out Darth Vader might be your dad. Or at least you maybe grew up on his ship idk how Star Wars works. ]

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