shaft | hotel: aikawa

[ Hello, Aikawa. Welcome to church!

Claude looks around at the wooden confessional box they've found themselves in. ]

You cozy in there?

[ There is a long-ass pause, and then

]

Kinda cramped.

[ Confession boxes were not meant to withhold the weight of his sins and his huge bones. ]

What the hell is this?

Never been to church?

Not really, churches are for devils and you really don't want to fuck with a devil. They'll do terrible things, like throw bird shit at you.

We're not gonna have to like, bow down to one, right? How do you get out of here?

... I see. Where I come from, churches are places of worship. Organized religion and all that.

You have to confess.

That tracks. Devils really like worship and making religions just to punk on people. I guess they also like confessions?

Man, what kind of stuff do you confess about, though...

[ I asked the lord to give me a bike but I know it doesn't work that way so I stole a bike and asked God for forgiveness . txt ]

Your sins.

I guess I could confess, if you want to listen.

Sins, huh? That's pretty heavy stuff.

Sure, gimme an example.

Uhh. [ He's not religious so. ] Something like, "oh no... Goddess, I'm sorry I used the last tea bag, and didn't refill the jar or tell anyone so that they could refill it."

That kind of thing.

Ohh.

Then I'm sorry, to the nearest high power there is, that I snuck into the kitchen and stole a chunk of char siu and also put a spider in the chef's hat.

Does it count if they know it was you? He can't prove it but I'm pretty sure he knows.

... Why did you put a spider in the chef's hat?

'Cause he's mean to me! Always calling me 'fucking Aikawa' and waving and-or throwing knives at me. His loss. If I get them, they're my knives now.

The chef... Here? At this hotel?

Oh, nah.

The one at my school.

Turns out, it's the same one I used to know from years ago at my old, other school! How fucked up is that? Maybe he likes me.

You said he was mean to you?

Well, yeah, but sometimes you're mean to the people you like! They call them tsundere.

I don't actually seriously think he likes me, just in case you're wondering.