To help whoever I can for however long I can. I could go back to being with my family. [ and she would be happy to be back with her family, if she were strong enough to face them, strong enough for any of their acceptance or forgiveness when she's still struggling to accept and forgive herself. ] But I was asked, if I couldn't choose to live.
[ if for once, she would choose life after choosing to sacrifice herself so many times. ]
And my dear and beloved sister asked me with her last words, if I couldn't try to live a normal life.
[ which fódlan won't give her, but... it's fine.... ]
I don't know what a normal life is anymore, and I can't pretend I do.
[ there's her openness and her honesty. she was more than happy, dead and reunited with her deceased family, but then murder games fucked that up. ]
... Dimitri asked me to go to Faerghus. [ he asked her to go a continent about to erupt into war. ] There is someone I would like to help, too, but he doesn't want to accept it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ this surprises her more than it should. ]
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It's a type of escapism, don't you think?
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[ her smile is a fraction sad. ]
A type of productivity, too.
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Do you ever think you have to give penance for surviving?
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[ for her murdergame circumstances, she thinks she does personally, but that's neither here nor there.
she looks at him closely. ]
Why do you think that?
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Just something that's been on my mind as I figure out what next.
You helped to kill that demon, but you're still alive. So what do you plan to do?
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[ if for once, she would choose life after choosing to sacrifice herself so many times. ]
And my dear and beloved sister asked me with her last words, if I couldn't try to live a normal life.
[ which fódlan won't give her, but... it's fine.... ]
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If you returned home, you'd have to rejoin the fight?
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[ on account of being dead. ]
I wouldn't cheat my fate at home.
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Perhaps it's the universe's way of telling you to live peacefully. You don't need to fight for the rest of your life.
[ ... ]
Your time here excluded.
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... I suspect peace will take a while either way. Being pulled here, or where I go after...
[ she doesn't know what timeline he's from, but everything she's heard is fodlan can't avoid war. ]
But I don't mind.
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[ he shakes his head ]
Where are you headed? If not home?
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[ there's her openness and her honesty. she was more than happy, dead and reunited with her deceased family, but then murder games fucked that up. ]
... Dimitri asked me to go to Faerghus. [ he asked her to go a continent about to erupt into war. ] There is someone I would like to help, too, but he doesn't want to accept it.
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because he doesn't know that there's any changing it. ]
Why not? He doesn't want to burden you?
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she smiles. ]
That, and he doesn't want to endanger anyone. As if most of us don't face our own brands of danger.
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[ ... ]
But I can understand too. My worst nightmare is someone getting hurt because of my mess.
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[ she doesn't say it like it's a bad thing, more like something she's trying to piece together. ]
But I'm grateful to be able to get to know you as you are.
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[ he just laughs, not offended ]
People can be pretty complicated.
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[ she smiles. ]
I only hope you can learn to trust people more.
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Is that how you took your friend's refusal of your help? A lack of trust?
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[ she looks up at him through her eyelashes. ]
That's how I think you are.
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And our situations are different?
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Do you trust me?
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I trust that you are a good person, with the best intentions at heart.
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That's answer enough, isn't it? I wasn't going to be offended if you said no.
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i hate you