school: nier

[shaft]

Comments

[amain]

Sorry, I’m just shocked that you actually said you like me.

[ He’s trying to process it? ]

You had trouble yesterday saying you like touching. You had trouble with a lot of things and ran off.

[shaft]

I've said it before.

[ Hasn't he? ]

[amain]

You haven't.

[ CLAUDE REALLY HAS NOT EVER SAID THAT TO NIER. ]

[shaft]

[ ............... ]

I like you, Nier.

[amain]

[ .....

He busts up laughing. Help. ]

[shaft]

... That's a terrible reaction to a confession.

[amain]

Sorry, sorry... What got me was the way you thought you told me before and the fact you told someone else first before telling me, then now you're finally telling me.

[ YOU CAN'T BLAME HIM ]

We can redo if you want?

[shaft]

[ He still looks a little huffy, but at the suggestion he just sighs. ]

No, this is about what I expect from myself. I'm sorry that I did it so poorly.

[amain]

It wasn't bad, honestly. I shouldn't have laughed when it took me so long to realize I like-liked other people.

[ Lightly baps Claude with pillow. ]

No, we can do it again. Go ahead.

[shaft]

[ Fine. Nier will get a confession if he wants one.

Claude's going to push himself up onto his elbow so that he can hover over him, setting a hand on his cheek. ]

I like you, Nier.

[amain]

[ Wow. Actually seeing through him. Yes, Nier wanted to hear it again. He takes that hand and holds it. ]

I love you, Claude—as a friend, more, and whatever beyond that. Forever.

[ So unconditionally! He doesn't care much about labels or anything. ]

[shaft]

[ That's so much affection.

A little too much affection.

Claude looks ridiculously pleased though, even as colour crawls up to his face, and he also drops his face onto the pillow. ]

Thank you.

[ He's still too shy to say it back... ]

[amain]

[ Nier is inwardly preening himself because yes this is how it should be and he’s winning as usual. A shy, embarrassed Claude. ]

Wow, you got really red. Was that too much?

[ Since he still has Claude’s hand, he brushes his cheek against his knuckles. ]

[shaft]

You're always a lot.

[ When he looks up he's smiling though. ]

But I like that about you.

[amain]

I don’t think I’m always a lot.

[ Genuinely, he thinks he isn’t a handful, but that’s because he’s stupid and unaware. Smiling back, very fond, he releases Claude’s hand. ]

[shaft]

[ He snorts, but falls into his back again. ]

It's not a bad thing. I'm hoping your stubbornness means that we can meet again, even after leaving here.

[amain]

It might take some time since I won't know where you are, but you can leave a trail for me while I'm looking for a cure. Etch your name on a tavern or something.

[ It's a funny thought? Despite what waits for Nier or worse, what doesn't, he's thinking about what he can look forward to. He will have a home with Kainé and Yonah, finally get to know Iris some more, then find a way to cure his sister. They can lead a simple life... Travel Iris' world, then other worlds after a safety assessment.

They can visit friends, then somewhere on the way he'll meet Claude. It warms his heart, but something needles it, especially after the twice confession. While it looked like he wanted to scoot closer earlier, he stays, holding onto a pillow. ]

... Is this right?

[shaft]

[ He looks up at the question curiously. ]

What do you mean?

[amain]

I’ve been selfish for most of my days here, but… I don’t think I deserve your affections.

[ Very funny how confessions and thinking about simple happiness make you second guess everything. ]

[shaft]

[ Claude just looks at him, taken aback. In all their previous, awkward conversations about this, Nier had never said anything like that. ]

... Why?

[amain]

[ Because Claude never said he liked him, basically. Nier allowed people to befriend him, to be kind to him, but any more makes him wonder. ]

This place allowed me to be my best, I think. [ The weirdest thing to say about murder games. ] But in truth, I’ve done terrible things at home. I’ve killed so many…

[shaft]

[ He listens patiently to what Nier has to say, pushing himself up so that he's sitting again. ]

And... that makes you a bad person? [ He takes one of Nier's hands in his own. ] I think you've done a lot of good, and not just here. And all the good that you've done might not erase the bad, but the reverse also holds true.

I probably can't even convey to you how much I think of you, but I know you deserve the world. [ He squeezes his hand. ] You've got a good heart, Nier, and you're a better man than many others I've met.

[amain]

[ Nier is apprehensive, not wanting to get out of this makeshift bubble, but allows him to take his hand. The touch makes him want to be happy and to shove the truth under the rug, like the past meant nothing. ]

Claude… [ Thank god it is not think week. ] I stole the dreams of many—for myself and those I loved.

On my journey for revenge, I pushed humanity to the brink of extinction. True humans will die out because of my actions. I knew that.

[ The bad can’t be erased he said, so here it is. Is Nier really better? Does he really deserve the world? ]

[shaft]

[ He looks a little puzzled. ]

You knew...? [ He'd thought it was a surprise to him, but he supposes that Nier could have continued his journey even after learning the truth.

So he killed True Humans - like the girl from the ship. It would be easy to say that Nier had just been killing monsters, but he's already proved that he doesn't think that's the case.

Stupidly, he asks this instead, ] Would you kill everyone here for them too?

[amain]

... I learned it later, but it doesn't change all I've done. It didn't stop me.

[ It was too late by then. It was too late to stop, to go back, to change anything. He doesn't want when he learned the truth to color the story. Does it matter that he thought of them as nothing but monsters until the end? No. They're dead. That is the point. ]

If things were different, I'm sure I would be able to.

[ The underlying answer is no. Not with how people are here and how this system works. ]