It might take some time since I won't know where you are, but you can leave a trail for me while I'm looking for a cure. Etch your name on a tavern or something.
[ It's a funny thought? Despite what waits for Nier or worse, what doesn't, he's thinking about what he can look forward to. He will have a home with Kainé and Yonah, finally get to know Iris some more, then find a way to cure his sister. They can lead a simple life... Travel Iris' world, then other worlds after a safety assessment.
They can visit friends, then somewhere on the way he'll meet Claude. It warms his heart, but something needles it, especially after the twice confession. While it looked like he wanted to scoot closer earlier, he stays, holding onto a pillow. ]
[ Because Claude never said he liked him, basically. Nier allowed people to befriend him, to be kind to him, but any more makes him wonder. ]
This place allowed me to be my best, I think. [ The weirdest thing to say about murder games. ] But in truth, I’ve done terrible things at home. I’ve killed so many…
[ He listens patiently to what Nier has to say, pushing himself up so that he's sitting again. ]
And... that makes you a bad person? [ He takes one of Nier's hands in his own. ] I think you've done a lot of good, and not just here. And all the good that you've done might not erase the bad, but the reverse also holds true.
I probably can't even convey to you how much I think of you, but I know you deserve the world. [ He squeezes his hand. ] You've got a good heart, Nier, and you're a better man than many others I've met.
[ Nier is apprehensive, not wanting to get out of this makeshift bubble, but allows him to take his hand. The touch makes him want to be happy and to shove the truth under the rug, like the past meant nothing. ]
Claude… [ Thank god it is not think week. ] I stole the dreams of many—for myself and those I loved.
On my journey for revenge, I pushed humanity to the brink of extinction. True humans will die out because of my actions. I knew that.
[ The bad can’t be erased he said, so here it is. Is Nier really better? Does he really deserve the world? ]
You knew...? [ He'd thought it was a surprise to him, but he supposes that Nier could have continued his journey even after learning the truth.
So he killed True Humans - like the girl from the ship. It would be easy to say that Nier had just been killing monsters, but he's already proved that he doesn't think that's the case.
Stupidly, he asks this instead, ] Would you kill everyone here for them too?
... I learned it later, but it doesn't change all I've done. It didn't stop me.
[ It was too late by then. It was too late to stop, to go back, to change anything. He doesn't want when he learned the truth to color the story. Does it matter that he thought of them as nothing but monsters until the end? No. They're dead. That is the point. ]
If things were different, I'm sure I would be able to.
[ The underlying answer is no. Not with how people are here and how this system works. ]
[ He thinks about it for a moment, wondering what he should say, and how he can offer some comfort. ]
I don't know if I can judge whether what you did was right or wrong. Those monsters may have been human, but they were still a danger to all the people who lived in your world. Perhaps the cost of saving them was too high but- that's not for me to say.
But it doesn't make me think any less of you. You were dealt a terrible hand in a terrible circumstances. I can't blame you for wanting to protect what happiness you could find.
[ Nier is quiet, rendered speechless. It was never about him being bad or good, but more if they're willing to accept him as he is, with the worst parts of him and his dark history attached. People here are too kind... They keep making excuses for him. Or maybe they're right. He had so little control over his life.
A sigh. ]
There's nothing I can say to make you think otherwise?
[ He should draw his hand back, but instead he holds on. Maybe a little tighter, too. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ Genuinely, he thinks he isn’t a handful, but that’s because he’s stupid and unaware. Smiling back, very fond, he releases Claude’s hand. ]
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It's not a bad thing. I'm hoping your stubbornness means that we can meet again, even after leaving here.
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[ It's a funny thought? Despite what waits for Nier or worse, what doesn't, he's thinking about what he can look forward to. He will have a home with Kainé and Yonah, finally get to know Iris some more, then find a way to cure his sister. They can lead a simple life... Travel Iris' world, then other worlds after a safety assessment.
They can visit friends, then somewhere on the way he'll meet Claude. It warms his heart, but something needles it, especially after the twice confession. While it looked like he wanted to scoot closer earlier, he stays, holding onto a pillow. ]
... Is this right?
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What do you mean?
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[ Very funny how confessions and thinking about simple happiness make you second guess everything. ]
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... Why?
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This place allowed me to be my best, I think. [ The weirdest thing to say about murder games. ] But in truth, I’ve done terrible things at home. I’ve killed so many…
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And... that makes you a bad person? [ He takes one of Nier's hands in his own. ] I think you've done a lot of good, and not just here. And all the good that you've done might not erase the bad, but the reverse also holds true.
I probably can't even convey to you how much I think of you, but I know you deserve the world. [ He squeezes his hand. ] You've got a good heart, Nier, and you're a better man than many others I've met.
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Claude… [ Thank god it is not think week. ] I stole the dreams of many—for myself and those I loved.
On my journey for revenge, I pushed humanity to the brink of extinction. True humans will die out because of my actions. I knew that.
[ The bad can’t be erased he said, so here it is. Is Nier really better? Does he really deserve the world? ]
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You knew...? [ He'd thought it was a surprise to him, but he supposes that Nier could have continued his journey even after learning the truth.
So he killed True Humans - like the girl from the ship. It would be easy to say that Nier had just been killing monsters, but he's already proved that he doesn't think that's the case.
Stupidly, he asks this instead, ] Would you kill everyone here for them too?
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[ It was too late by then. It was too late to stop, to go back, to change anything. He doesn't want when he learned the truth to color the story. Does it matter that he thought of them as nothing but monsters until the end? No. They're dead. That is the point. ]
If things were different, I'm sure I would be able to.
[ The underlying answer is no. Not with how people are here and how this system works. ]
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I don't know if I can judge whether what you did was right or wrong. Those monsters may have been human, but they were still a danger to all the people who lived in your world. Perhaps the cost of saving them was too high but- that's not for me to say.
But it doesn't make me think any less of you. You were dealt a terrible hand in a terrible circumstances. I can't blame you for wanting to protect what happiness you could find.
You're not a bad person.
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A sigh. ]
There's nothing I can say to make you think otherwise?
[ He should draw his hand back, but instead he holds on. Maybe a little tighter, too. ]
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[ He’s trying his luck as a joke, with mild curiosity. ]
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I guess something about how you couldn't like me because of my dirty blood.
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[ Yeah, Nier would never say something like that. ]
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[ Nier should know that. He's probably seen plenty of terrible things. ]
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Yeah.
[ Nier sits up and pulls Claude into a hug with his free arm. ]
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Don't worry, I have pretty thick skin. It doesn't bother me anymore.
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[ No one should treat Claude, or anyone, so poorly. He gives Claude a small squeeze in this hug. Grumbles. ]
I’d have a word with anyone that says those kinds of things to you.
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He squeezes him in return. ]
It's all right. I haven't heard anything like that in years anyway.
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[ How many times is Claude going to think Nier is cute. He gives a small nuzzle, content enough with that. ]
You remember what I said weeks ago, right? When I was badgering you about your fake dating.
[ now space jam is real ]
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That any woman would be unlucky to date me?
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... I should ask why that's what you recall first. [ This one: ] You are lovable.
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