I don't know what it means. But...say whoever this mystery person who put it in a letter that was read out publicly is, they had killed someone. The contract would require that person be safe. Which says something about the status of these special friends to me.
First of all, I needed someone large and strong for my plan to work well. Second of all, he cut Molly's head off and scooped out his brains. A fact none of you saw fit to mention...
For my hostage. If I died here without first securing his freedom, it would have been unconscionable. I did not wish to participate in the Nightman's game, but my wishes are irrelevant when defending the Emperor is a matter of duty.
Well. It's a bit complicated. When I accepted joining the Emperor's service, it was with the understanding I would renounce my ties to my House and serve him alone, and that he in turn would make my House prosper again. New citizens, new resources. He fulfilled his bargain, and I agreed never to return there. But I found the Emperor's service rather...dreadful. It is poor of me, and ungrateful. But there came a time on the station when I realized that for everyone else, this experience was the worst of their lives, and for me it was among the best. And I dreaded returning to his side.
I agreed to leave with Molly. And I don't regret that. But neither will I let my House die, even if I know I will never go back. As long as it lives and has a chance, I have fulfilled at least some portion of the bargain my life represents.
Which choice? The one I made to leave? Or the one I made here, to still be beholden to it even when everyone else was trying to - to find another way out.
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[ do they need a lawyer ]
I don't know. It feels like there's little to do but wait.
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... By the way. Why did you decide to kill Aikawa?
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[...]
First of all, I needed someone large and strong for my plan to work well. Second of all, he cut Molly's head off and scooped out his brains. A fact none of you saw fit to mention...
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I was just curious to know if it was entirely revenge.
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I think I understand a little better now. But I needed to choose someone, so I'm not sure it would have mattered.
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[ she wasn't possessed though, was she? ]
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[she frowns.]
For my hostage. If I died here without first securing his freedom, it would have been unconscionable. I did not wish to participate in the Nightman's game, but my wishes are irrelevant when defending the Emperor is a matter of duty.
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Harrow... Are you returning to your home after this? To secure the future of your house?
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Why didn't you return?
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Well. It's a bit complicated. When I accepted joining the Emperor's service, it was with the understanding I would renounce my ties to my House and serve him alone, and that he in turn would make my House prosper again. New citizens, new resources. He fulfilled his bargain, and I agreed never to return there. But I found the Emperor's service rather...dreadful. It is poor of me, and ungrateful. But there came a time on the station when I realized that for everyone else, this experience was the worst of their lives, and for me it was among the best. And I dreaded returning to his side.
I agreed to leave with Molly. And I don't regret that. But neither will I let my House die, even if I know I will never go back. As long as it lives and has a chance, I have fulfilled at least some portion of the bargain my life represents.
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[ he's not particularly surprised that her time in her home world was terrible ]
It's something I think about often myself. To what end you should give your life you duty, and how much to steal for yourself.
Did you ever feel guilty about your choice?
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