[mikazuki has changed - into a different kimono, still beautiful but less elaborate. however its long sleeves still work to obscure his arms and the fabrics drape over his legs as he sits - so it's a little hard to tell that he was on cyoa.
except his voice is a little raspy when he speaks]
[ . . . mikazuki's next smile is - sincere, but it is not joyful. there is an understanding to it, and a sadness.
he will not linger, because the point of the question really wasn't to make claude uncomfortable. but rather because at least to some degree, mikazuki cannot bear his soul to someone who does not show at least some trust in him.
... or well, he can. but only to one person in particular.]
.... this heart knows only to mourn. Some may say that it is a gift, for a treasure to survive through the centuries with so little damage upon its blade. But for a sword to go unused... for a sword to be given as an heirloom from family to family...
It must witness the demise of its masters. The fall of empires. The destruction of other blades, again and again.
[ . . . ]
So why did I not check after Kim Dokja and Aikawa? Was my pride so great that I could not spare a thought for them? Why is it that abandoning those that I consider friends came so easily for a time, when -
[when I would rather die trying to save them?
a beat. a breathe.]
... For now, I am Mikazuki Munechika, as I always have been.
But until I am certain that my heart is returned to me, I shall limit both my ability and my contact with others.
[hence the avoiding healing, and the lack of engagement]
[ There are several layers that separate the two of them: the sheer length of Mikazuki's life, all that he's lived and experienced; and the fact that, despite his body and his voice, he's not... human. Instead forged with purpose, and lived long as an object.
He wonders. ]
I won't claim to be an expert in these matters, but that seems a little counterproductive.
[ He only has his limited 23 years of experience with which to bridge the gap, but there's nothing gained without effort. ]
Isn't it proximity to others that'll help settle your heart?
... blue lights. First, they forced us to scatter to different locations upon an island. Second, they set a mansion aflame. Third, they seemed to displace us when we were scaling a cliffside... and that is when the emotion was strongest.
Once time reversed and looped again, however, it became... less overt. But still present.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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except his voice is a little raspy when he speaks]
.... for now.
Though... do take care.
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Because it's Thursday?
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[but,]
From anyone, or from myself.
[which is why he'll gesture with his right arm for claude to specifically sit a ways away, if he would still like to approach]
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He'll keep his distance, watching him closely. ]
Did you lose control of your facilities?
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.... if all else were stripped away, what would be your core, Claude?
If one peered into the fabric of your soul... what would be your heart?
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it's not like he's asking just to hear himself talk]
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You ask a lot, Mikazuki. I'm not in the habit of being the first to show my hand.
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[he really doesn't mind]
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Is that what you feel happened to you?
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Who's to say?
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Would you answer your own question?
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[he's curious
is the distrust generalized, or is it toward mikazuki himself?
well, he's used to the latter]
I would.
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[ but it drove to into discomfort territory, hackles rising instinctively
now though, he seems mostly concerned ]
What happened?
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I shall give my own freely afterward.
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Then I'd have to say...
You'd find someone who has been and always will be alone.
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he will not linger, because the point of the question really wasn't to make claude uncomfortable. but rather because at least to some degree, mikazuki cannot bear his soul to someone who does not show at least some trust in him.
... or well, he can. but only to one person in particular.]
.... this heart knows only to mourn. Some may say that it is a gift, for a treasure to survive through the centuries with so little damage upon its blade. But for a sword to go unused... for a sword to be given as an heirloom from family to family...
It must witness the demise of its masters. The fall of empires. The destruction of other blades, again and again.
[ . . . ]
So why did I not check after Kim Dokja and Aikawa? Was my pride so great that I could not spare a thought for them? Why is it that abandoning those that I consider friends came so easily for a time, when -
[when I would rather die trying to save them?
a beat. a breathe.]
... For now, I am Mikazuki Munechika, as I always have been.
But until I am certain that my heart is returned to me, I shall limit both my ability and my contact with others.
[hence the avoiding healing, and the lack of engagement]
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He wonders. ]
I won't claim to be an expert in these matters, but that seems a little counterproductive.
[ He only has his limited 23 years of experience with which to bridge the gap, but there's nothing gained without effort. ]
Isn't it proximity to others that'll help settle your heart?
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[it's why mikazuki loves being with others, normally, enjoying a good round of chaos instead of just tranquility and peace without end]
Not when I do not trust I might turn my blade against them.
[it's why he's not even letting claude too close. ya never know, man. it's a murder hotel]
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Would you explain what brought about this change?
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[he tries to remember, pinpointing the moments]
... blue lights. First, they forced us to scatter to different locations upon an island. Second, they set a mansion aflame. Third, they seemed to displace us when we were scaling a cliffside... and that is when the emotion was strongest.
Once time reversed and looped again, however, it became... less overt. But still present.
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he just sighs ]
I... see. [ ... ] Mikazuki, I don't mean to be indelicate, but did you get any information or a hint about this place?
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[like it would be such a fucking great distraction from talking about his feelings and injuries]
Though I will discuss it further with Kim Dokja and Aikawa, once I feel repaired, and see if we can glean anything from it.
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he just nods. ]
You don't need to answer but... are you keeping your distance from Tsuru too?
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He would not allow it. He would remain outside my door until curfew came for us, and I do not wish for him to be alone in the hallway.
And if any could stop my blade, I believe it to be him.
[jiji: i think tsuru would understand about breaking me if it came to it]
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