school: nier

[shaft]

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[amain]

[ He laughs a bit. ]

Since there's not much left of me, shouldn't it be easier?

[shaft]

I don't know about that.

[ He bumps Nier's shoulder. ]

But it doesn't matter, you're allowed to protect your heart.

[amain]

… That’s harder than it sounds.

[ For a moment, he presses their shoulders together, then pulls up his knees to hug them. ]

How do you do it?

[shaft]

[ He hums, thinking about it. ]

From the being hurt by others, or from the horrors of war?

[amain]

The one relevant to this, I guess.

[ Tell him the ways, Claude von I have no heart. ]

[shaft]

I guess I just lie. I tell myself that it doesn't hurt, or that it doesn't surprise me, until I believe it to be true.

[ lying is important, nier ]

[amain]

… I don’t see how that protects your heart. It sounds like it’s already broken instead.

[ This also: ]

You shouldn’t need to do that, either.

[ to be quite honest, Nier is very hypocritical considering how much he has repressed and tweaked his perception. ]

[shaft]

[ Shoves him. (Playfully.) ]

You're really going to criticize me? I think my heart is doing just fine.

[amain]

[ Hello? Why are you shoving him. He groans and squints at him. ]

I can. How do I know you're not lying now?

[shaft]

Does it matter? Isn't it easier just to believe me?

[amain]

... No, because it makes it sound like you're alone, even though you're here.

It would make me alone, too.

[shaft]

[ There is something profoundly sad about those words, enough that when Claude exhales, his jovial demeanour seems to vanish with his breath. ]

The only real way to protect your heart is to distance yourself from the source of pain, but it's hard to do that without getting hurt in the first place.

... But if that's not something you want, then I can't tell you how to force it.

[amain]

It's easier to run when there are places to go... With things to do to take your mind off of it.

[ Very little good distractions here, at least until the coming week hits or lore drops. ]

Are you really not hurt, Claude? You don't need to hide it if you are.

[shaft]

[ He just huffs helplessly, looking at Nier with a defeated expression. ]

Am I so terrible at comforting you that you've decided to turn the tables?

[amain]

... I just care about you.

[ He gives him a tired look. It's simple. ]

[shaft]

[ He really is terrible at being Nier's friend. ]

I wasn't hurt. I already know what Byleth is capable of. I was- I am... angry.

[ ... ]

I care about you too, for the record. Even if I'm not great at showing it.

[amain]

[ There's a small laugh. ]

I never doubted that you care about me. I only said that because I thought you needed me to spell out why I asked in the first place.

[ Doofus. Nier knows that Claude is a little cagey... His ways are different and he accepts that for the most part. ]

... Why?

[shaft]

[ ... Cool! So he spelled it out for no reason! He loves that! ]

Because she's killed people. All the while acting like... a friend. A mentor.

She's just a murderer.

[amain]

[ Acting like a friend! A mentor! ]

... When Lan Wangji was confirmed dead, she was adamant about us teaching the kids in our dorm how to defend themselves.

[shaft]

How noble.

[amain]

I enjoyed the dead's company when they were here.

Crow... had many friends waiting for him back at home, too.

[shaft]

[ He's silent for a moment. ]

Me too. I don't think there are any easy answers for this. [ Just falls back against the roof.

Which he immediately regrets because it's freezing, but he's in it now. ]

Sometimes it just... sucks.

[amain]

… I wonder what we’re going to do. If there’s anything we can do.

[ Byleth or at least her partner will kill again. Whether they do anything about that or form some plan to use Byleth he has no idea. A messy aftermath!!

When Claude plops, Nier unravels to hover over him. ]

Is the snow comfortable?

[shaft]

[ There is. Claude is sure they'll form a plan, figure something out. Whether it works or not, he doubts this group will surrender yet.

But tomorrow. Tonight, he just stews in his feelings.

He grins up at Nier. ]

No, it's pretty bad. I really can't stand the cold...

[amain]

[ He frowns, quiet for a moment, then plops down, too.

With some shifting, he gets close enough to hug Claude. There, warm. ]

I don’t like the cold, either.