school: nier

[shaft]

Comments

[shaft]

I didn't mean right at that moment. [ He comments a little dryly, before sighing. ] I just mean... confiding in someone. Allowing yourself to feel hurt.

[ He doesn't really know how people handle trauma other than repression. ]

[amain]

[ Uhm. His face twists more, not annoyed or feigning composure. Instead, it's... Complicated. It's definitely guilt—he doesn't want to talk about it.

Except he's compelled to. He's forced to unpackage this in front of CLAUDE of all people. ]

No. I intended to keep it locked until I died and I did.

[shaft]

[ HELLO? ]

You... died?

[amain]

[ Okay, this part he hasn't been hiding at all. It just... It's weird for it to ever come up. ]

Yeah, I kind of did. I'm more dead than I am alive.

[shaft]

You're... What exactly does that mean?

[ stares at Nier's chest. ]

[amain]

[ He rubs his neck—DON'T LOOK AT HIS CHEST? ]

My existence was erased from my world. It includes my life, people's memories of me... Stuff like that.

[shaft]

[ That's not what he was expecting. He can feel his hands balling into fists, anger showing on his face, but he just closes his eyes. ]

And your sister?

[amain]

She’s still alive. Kainé is, too.

[ So basically Kainé is taking care of her. ]

… You don’t need to be angry. It was a choice.

[shaft]

Why?

[amain]

If the choice is to kill your friend before they become a monster or to sacrifice your existence so they can live, what would you pick?

It's nothing complicated.

[shaft]

It doesn't sound uncomplicated.

[ He grumbles. Just sad to hear it. ]

Seems as though you had to see plenty of cruelty, my friend.

[amain]

So we're friends.

[ That makes all of this a little better to Nier. ]

... Yeah, but I think everyone does.

[shaft]

That doesn't make it any easier to bear.

[ ... ]

Does Kainé know that you were erased? Or that you're not... human?

[amain]

Everyone that looks human in my world is an empty vessel. [ Including Kainé. ] She was there with me when we learned the truth.

[ Uhm. The erased part. He closes his eyes. ]

Yeah, she came here without remembering me, so she knows.

[shaft]

[ ....... ]

She remembers you now, it seems? And... forgive me for asking, but a vessel for what?

[amain]

It took her a week, but yeah. Somehow, she was able to break the spell. Not sure if it's because of this place or it's because I exist here, but she did it.

[ Nier still does not know how it works or why that happened, so hopefully Claude will never ask him about the specifics. ]

For true humans. Their souls.

[shaft]

[ Hm, interesting. ]

What is it exactly that makes you different from a "true" human?

[amain]

... I don't have a soul?

[ Apparently, that is important. ]

[shaft]

And how is that quantified?

[ Philosophy... ]

[amain]

I wouldn't know. They didn't go into the project in too much detail...

[ drakenier characters really don't know their own canon ]

But... Does that matter?

[ Does he need to have a soul? ]

[shaft]

I don't think so. [ He shrugs, though he has no idea if he's doing justice by dismissing what had obviously plagued Nier. ] Personally, I would never measure the worth of someone by something as abstract as a "soul".

And I don't know. [ He looks thoughtful, leaning in to look into Nier's eyes. ] It seems to me like there's something still quite important in there.

[amain]

[ Maybe since Nier came here, having learned that people are from different worlds, he has compared Kainé and himself to others. Them, supposedly soulless puppets, to these true humans who are complete and whole.

He and Kainé have given each other value and that's enough, but it still shakes him to hear something like that. The laugh that comes from him is more genuine. ]

I don't need your validation, you know.

[ Nier pinches Claude's nose in hopes to have him back off. He doesn't want him to notice his eyes watering. ]

[shaft]

[ He makes a face at being pinched, though he obliging moves away to give Nier some space. ]

No, but I do love hearing the sound of my own voice.

[ His voice is softer than usual though, when he answers. ]

[amain]

[ Good. Stay there. He stops pinching Claude's nose as a reward. ]

I guess it is a nice voice.

[ spoon where is my femblem memory ]

[shaft]

You don't need to humour me.

[ And it's a good thing, Claude took a step back, when the setting around them suddenly changes.

You wake up, and it's to a hand around your neck and the ominous glint of a blade in the moonlight.

It's the first time you've woken up like this. You're maybe five, or six years old, and you're filled with fear first, and panic second.

But you still know better than to scream.

You slap the arm that's keeping you pinned to your bed, and it doesn't do much, except wherever that knife misses wherever it was meant to cut, slashing deep and bloody over your chest instead, pain slicing through your veins as your legs kick out, earning a grunt of pain when they connect with—something soft and human.

The situation starts to take shape in your head, and something else seeps in around the fear: fury. Indignation. Rage that anyone would do this to you- you're a prince.

You kick again before your attacker manages to shield himself, into that same spot, another more pronounced cry of pain. But the reason your shadow stuck close was because this time, he lodges his blade into your shoulder, and it burns so much that you lose track of everything else. How hard your fists are beating into the arm around your neck. How furiously your legs are kicking at the shape above you until eventually it staggers back.

And against all odds, you get up too. The knife wasn't driven deep enough to stay in place when you move, and suddenly it's very accessible.

Suddenly the knife is in your hand and you're screaming, launching forward and you know that you hurt him, some where, some amount of times because there's blood spraying over your floors different from the droplets dripping from your own clothes. But you're only a child, and when the fog clears from your head you realize that the would-be assassin is gone.

It's just you, covered in blood and left without a scratch.

And he's left blinking, sighing as he makes a face. ]