school: nier

[shaft]

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[shaft]

She did seem heartbroken when Lux told her what had happened.

[ He's not really sure what to make of Nier's efforts. On one hand, he's glad that he has happier memories to hold onto, and that his time before Wiwaldi wasn't just one point of suffering after the other.

But then, eventually that happiness had ended with loss. Maybe that's just how attachments go. ]

[amain]

[ Claude, you’re in a war… Loss just happens all the time, okay. Nier is trying his Best right now despite not knowing the situation at all. ]

You guys could have lied to her. I don’t think that choice is wrong.

[shaft]

[ He was in a war... that's why he's convinced life is nothing but losing people. ]

I'll be honest, I was mostly checked out. But I know that I would've appreciated the truth over anything else. It's better than finding it out later.

[amain]

[ Nier can’t disagree. He prefers the truth, too. ]

Checked out, huh.

[ Pat pat. ]

Shades are relentless in their rampage. That one was also really strong. I was surprised to know you four went through that and came out alive.

[shaft]

[ He trusted Lux and Kon to handle the rest. Even though they were in way worse physical shape than him. ]

She definitely almost killed Kon and the others. [ ... ] She didn't attack me.

[ On purpose anyway. He did get yeeted into the ocean. ]

[amain]

[ ... This makes Nier frown because I finally got info from another character before curfew. ]

You got attached, didn't you.

[shaft]

[ Maybe he did.

Anyway, he's not going to answer. ]

[amain]

[ Nier’s thoughts are a jumble of kneejerk “it was a Shade,” “it was going to keep eating people,” “she loved someone,” and “she was protecting him,” ping ponging between what he forced himself to believe and the truth. ]

It… Wasn’t real.

[ He settles on that. ]

[shaft]

[ Claude is still silent for a moment, digesting Nier's thoughts without much change in expression. He doesn't fault him for feeling any particular way.

Eventually, and these words don't quite sound his own, That doesn't mean it couldn't have an impact. ]

[amain]

[ It might not sound like his words, but Nier understands it, anyway. Especially with his own CYOA, these trips leave a lasting emotional mark. ]

It's still you.

[shaft]

Yeah.

[ He'd mostly been staring at the ceiling. ]

Do you love the world you come from?

[amain]

[ Where is this coming from? ]

... I love the people in it?

[ It's a no. ]

[shaft]

I was going to suggest that once we leave, you take the people you care about and go somewhere else.

[ But given how easily you get attached... ]

[amain]

[ He can't do anything because Claude is hurt and traumatized. Just have a frown. ]

I only have Yonah and Kainé left, so it won't be hard.

[shaft]

What about Grimoire Weiss?

[ I don't think Claude knows about Emil. ]

[amain]

I'm sure he's watching over me wherever I go.

[ Nier speaks of Weiss fondly despite what his words mean. This includes Emil which Claude doesn't know about, wow. ]

... You know I'm here for you yet you're trying to turn this around.

[shaft]

[ ... Is he dead? That seems a little upsetting? ]

You should be used to that behaviour by now, shouldn't you?

[amain]

[ Nier did say all he had left is his sister and Kainé. ]

I’m not the one that darted after returning from a field trip. [ Huff. ] I want to care for you, Claude.

[ But I think you know that already. ]

[shaft]

I know. You're a good friend.

[ But I don't want to acknowledge it. ]

I'm just... tired. Of people dying at my hand.

[amain]

[ Nier is doing his best, trying to rework how he sees it. It’s hard for him when Shades have plagued his life and taken his sister, but he tries. ]

… It couldn’t have been someone else?

[shaft]

[ Neir should just put him to sleep. ]

I think when you're up against something like that, and you see an opportunity, you just take it.

[amain]

[ Maybe if Claude asks, then he would. He just pulls Claude closer since he knows how hard that is. ]

... It's your life or theirs.

[shaft]

[ Claude is really not used to be hugged for a prolonged period of time so imagine him awkwardly existing there. Not really where to put his hands or how to rest his head. ]

So it is.

[ He's thinking hard about the books that Claudia gathered for him because ara is a monster, so Nier can have that mental image even though it means nothing to him. ]

[amain]

[ ... Nier was ready to poke fun at how awkward Claude is, but no. Why are you giving him this sad image even though I was nodding at Ara the whole time. ]

What are those books?

[ HE'S GOING TO ASK ]

[shaft]

[ Claude like, really doesn't want Nier to see him cry, so he's going to do his best to sound clinical about this. ]

... I think she gathered them for me. I was looking at the books on the ships when I first ran into her.

[ It was because of me. ]