[ claude calls it exhausting, but hope . . . isn't sure what to call it, actually. memshares in general don't faze him too much, but it's the sheer amount of emotions that go through claude's mind in these few seconds that feel like several lifetimes that truly overwhelms him. he's always gotten the sense that there's much more to claude than he lets on, but this... to say it comes as a surprise would be a gross understatement.
even when the vision ends, there's a faint buzzing left in his head and a sharp sting in his chest. it's a phantom pain, yes, one that he's never truly experienced himself, but he still brings a hand to his heart, as if attempting to staunch the bleeding that isn't actually happening, to dull the pain that isn't real.
when hope's body becomes his own again, rather than claude's, he pulls in a deep breath that becomes two, three, and so on and so forth. there are so many questions he wants to ask—questions he's not sure he wants the answers to—but the one that finally leaves his mouth when he can find his voice again is: ]
[ Claude had made peace with Byleth at Wiwaldi eventually, accepting that she wasn't the same person that has run him through, conquered his city and murdered all his friends. It wasn't fair to her, for him to begrudge her for things she had no idea of.
But with the memory so stark in his mind, the sight of Hilda's body, the smell of his city burning, it builds a familiar resentment in his chest. A desire for reparations. ]
Not the same Byleth from Wiwaldi. [ Still, he won't lie. ] Dimitri and I, and even Sylvain, Yuri and me here, we're all from different versions of Fódlan.
The Byleth you knew had sided with an entirely different army.
[ claude had told him this before, yes, but he never would have guessed... that this was the case. even though he knows neither of them have a choice in what gets shared, he feels almost guilty for witnessing such a hauntingly poignant moment in the other man's life... he's not sure how to even approach the subject. would it be more respectful to just pretend he hadn't seen anything and never speak of it again, or would it be an insult if he didn't acknowledge the trauma of seeing claude die...?
. . . ]
These places have never been keen on letting us keep secrets, have they?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
even when the vision ends, there's a faint buzzing left in his head and a sharp sting in his chest. it's a phantom pain, yes, one that he's never truly experienced himself, but he still brings a hand to his heart, as if attempting to staunch the bleeding that isn't actually happening, to dull the pain that isn't real.
when hope's body becomes his own again, rather than claude's, he pulls in a deep breath that becomes two, three, and so on and so forth. there are so many questions he wants to ask—questions he's not sure he wants the answers to—but the one that finally leaves his mouth when he can find his voice again is: ]
That...was that Byleth...?
no subject
But with the memory so stark in his mind, the sight of Hilda's body, the smell of his city burning, it builds a familiar resentment in his chest. A desire for reparations. ]
Not the same Byleth from Wiwaldi. [ Still, he won't lie. ] Dimitri and I, and even Sylvain, Yuri and me here, we're all from different versions of Fódlan.
The Byleth you knew had sided with an entirely different army.
no subject
[ claude had told him this before, yes, but he never would have guessed... that this was the case. even though he knows neither of them have a choice in what gets shared, he feels almost guilty for witnessing such a hauntingly poignant moment in the other man's life... he's not sure how to even approach the subject. would it be more respectful to just pretend he hadn't seen anything and never speak of it again, or would it be an insult if he didn't acknowledge the trauma of seeing claude die...?
. . . ]
These places have never been keen on letting us keep secrets, have they?
no subject
No, not in my experience. I hope you haven't had to share anything too embarrassing.
no subject
I've been lucky in that regard, I guess. [ beat ] Given your wording, am I not the first to witness this?
no subject
no subject
If you'd rather not talk about it, you can just say so. You don't need to try and deflect.
no subject
Claude just sighs, defeated. ]
There's not much to say. Death is pretty final.
no subject
[ . . . ]
Is this what you went home to, after we left Wiwaldi?
no subject
Didn't seem like there was much of a point.
no subject
Where did you go?
no subject
no subject
I can't say I blame you for wanting a break.
no subject
no subject
Can I ask you something personal, Claude?
no subject
You can ask, sure.
no subject
no subject
I have no idea, to be honest.
no subject
...
I'm sorry for the burden you've had to carry with you this whole time.
no subject
We all have our burdens. [ he just smiles ] Thanks, Hope. We might not have been close before, but I'm glad for your friendship now.
no subject
[ :') ]
no subject
You were pretty mature as a kid too.
no subject
Was I? Everyone says that, but I never felt that way... though I guess we are the worst judges of our own character.
no subject
It's too bad.
no subject
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)