shaft | hotel: harrow

Oh.

[she touches her lip like she's surprised by it.]

It is not...it is something I do when I am concentrating. [she coughs up a bit of olive green.]

[ ... ]

That so. Makes sense, you do seem as though you're always thinking.

But to you, I suppose I appear as some anxious wreck.

[that's not even what he said.]

So mistrusting. That's not quite what I said.

There's nothing with getting anxious after all that, in any case.

[she scowls slightly because she can't understand when someone is being nice.]

If you say so. I hold myself to higher standards.

Of repressing it? Can't say I don't understand that.

Yes, quite. It is important to repress such things, so that we don't behave irrationally.

[ oh he didn't expect her to just agree ]

... You have a point.

You don't think it comes at a cost?

[why wouldn't she agree she doesn't know there's anything bad about it.]

A cost...? Such as not weeping and carrying on excessively?

I meant more on your mental well-being.

I'm just curious. Shinobu seems to think it's important.

Shinobu does, you say?

[hmm.]

I understand, but I do not have exceptional emotional well-being to begin with, so I have adapted.

...

You're awfully frank about that.

...Yes. Why wouldn't I be? It is on my profile. I don't even particularly feel it is a disadvantage here. I will never be someone who claims they believe it will turn out alright in the end. I assume the worst, unless I take it upon myself to do something to improve our circumstances.

I don't think there's anything wrong with planning for the worst.

Ever considered improving your mental wellbeing then?

[she gives a wry smile.]

Yes. After the station, I did attempt to change some things, but...now is not exactly the time.

Your friends don't get on your case about it?

Oh. Yes, they do.

[ he laughs ]

So it's a battle of wills? You just tune them out?

No. [a slight frown.] I listen to them, to a degree. To the extent it doesn't jeopardize anything else.

That might be better than most people.

I hope a better time finds you soon enough.

What does it matter to you? [even she realizes that's rude, so quickly - ] Or, I mean...the poor choices I make, they won't affect you.

[ she tried not to be rude... soft.

Claude just tilts his head. ]

Is it strange to want good things for you, even if it doesn't affect me directly?

Yes.

[but she says this a little stubbornly, like she knows this response is a bit stupid.]

[ at least she knows ]

Yeah, I think it's kind of suspicious too. But... [ he looks thoughtful ] I don't know. I think one of the most admirable things about people is being able to care for others without thinking of their own benefit.

I'm trying to emulate that a little.

[oh. she will actually give him a small smile for this effort.]

I see. [...] I think I understand what you mean. Well, I do not mind allowing you the practice.

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shaft - 2022-06-24 13:55 (UTC) - Expand

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outsidebones - 2022-06-24 23:27 (UTC) - Expand