[ For once they're not hanging out in the courtyard! For their trouble, they'll get a memory launched at them.
There's barely a beat between the knock at your office door and Hilda's voice as she steps inside, "Claude? You're still at it?"
You're in your office at the Riegan manor; a place that's more familiar to you than your bedroom these days, your chair well worn by your constant weight, and your desk growing ever messier as you compile notes and reminders. Right now, you have a map of Derdriu in front of you, chess pieces sitting atop it as though you were playing a particularly morbid game.
Your eyes are dry when you raise them toward Hilda, and you think you've probably been staring too hard.
"Just making sure that I haven't missed anything," you answer, tapping the map on your desk.
She only sighs in response, shaking her head. "You're not going to be in great fighting shape if you don't get some rest, you know."
Tomorrow, Edelgard's army will reach your city, where you'll make your last stand. You've evacuated Derdriu in anticipation of the battle, but your thoughts are spiraling still wondering how to minimize the casualties. Your country has already surrendered so many lives to this war, windows and orphans made by your hand. You can't pretend to be noble with your hands this bloodied, but still. You want to protect whatever you still can.
"... Hilda." Your voice is grave when you speak again. "Tomorrow, if you see that the tide is turning against us, I want you to escape, okay? I don't want you to throw your life away for a losing battle."
"Claude... do you really have so little faith in us?"
Not in them. But it feels a little late for faith now. You couldn't keep the Roundtable from fracturing. Lords defecting to the Empire because they believed the Alliance was doomed under your leadership. You couldn't keep the Great Bridge, letting the Empire march into your lands. Why would things change now, when the country has been steadily breaking around you for so long?
"I'd never doubt you. I just want to make sure that we account for all possibilities if my little scheme doesn't work out tomorrow."
"Maybe your plans would go better if you told us about them," she shoots back, and she's probably right.
But you don't relent. "Just trust me. And promise me that you'll escape if it comes down to it."
You can see her expression shift, not disappointment like you expect, just... sadness.
"I do, but you know you're a leader now, Claude. You need to trust others for them to trust you."
The memory starts to go dark there, and you don't hear your response, just the thudding of I can't, I can't beating alongside your chest.
Claude's brows are furrowed when the dojo comes back around them, a bit of remorse colouring his features. ]
I am glad to know more of you, though I do not appreciate it being against your will. I merely find it interesting... how you and Dimitri are at once alike, and vastly different.
... but we need not speak more of it, if you do not wish.
[it's only something mikazuki can believe he understands now, after feeling the emotion in the memory but - ]
There are times when you both will occasionally be reticent to share your thoughts with others.
Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd is motivated by an extreme sense of noblesse oblige - to maintain the visage of a king, for competence will keep his kingdom safe. And you, Claude... it is harder for me to place. [it's really not. it's trust issues, but mikazuki is aware of his own hypocrisy enough to not just say it.] But it is almost familiar, in how my crane too carries himself.
[ He smiles, not disagreeing with the assessment. ]
Tsuru? Trust issues? I wouldn't have guessed. [ He hardly knows him well enough to make a judgment, but it wouldn't surprise him. As far as Claude is concerned, people who trust and share openly are more the rarity.
They unnerve him. ]
I can't fault Dimitri too much. A leader needs to keep up the morale of their people. Sometimes you forget how to let your vulnerabilities show when you're at it long enough.
... mm. It is not born from a place of faulty origin. There is a logic to it... However, even the greatest leaders often possessed at least one or two they could open their hearts to.
Fear and anxiety too can harm a kingdom from the inside.
[but mikazuki talks about it more in a sense of history - of what he's seen, and witnessed. and yet at the same time, despite it being in the distant past, there is something somber in his tone.]
There is a funny pattern among your comrades - how excited they are to make play that they have switched identities. Curiously, this is the first time that it has happened to you.
It is done because you are told that you are too difficult - and there is something wryly amused to your smile when it is said. After all, not once did you ever suggest that you were a person who is easy to handle either.
Hearing your own thoughts reflected back to you is only proof of that.
You have committed a great act of defiance - you have told the humans of your mission. You have told them of your goal to keep history exactly as it is, and their role in it. You do not care for how you are criticized. Sometimes, they listen. Sometimes, they do not.
Either way - you will take care of it.
(But is that not the greatest tragedy of all? For human possibility to be relegated to something as finite as fate. And yet you have seen the tragedy that comes from when you deviate. You have seen how all of humanity might be made forfeit, if you prize one over the many.
That does not mean that your heart does not break.)
It is only when he begins to speak of your master that you feel something new. Ire. Your smile turns sharp, and you encourage him to stop.
. . .
But Higekiri continues to speak - and he talks of your master at that. Your master, who inspires this ache in your chest whenever you think of him. He was worried about you. Somehow, even when you strive to solve it all on your own, you manage to make trouble for others.
It is simply unfortunate - that that is not reason enough to get you to stop. ]
I was summoned into this form in the year 2205, so from that point in time as a blade I was already over a thousand years old... but have traveled many centuries back countless times.
[so the answer is yes, and he's even older than his profiles say]
Well, that certainly complicates your question of past and future. Though even before you confirmed it, I have to wonder... meeting Dimitri here has has made me think about it. My past should be his future, but that's not necessarily the case.
We come from alternate timelines, and even if I were from his future exactly, there's enough deviation in the present to alter what lies ahead for him. I don't think the "future" is a set fate that we're bound to.
.... for better or for worse, I am glad that such a thing is possible for you. That no fate is predetermined, and the future is still yet yours to shape.
For in my realm, the existence of myself and my comrades is meant to prevent such deviations.
Mm. That is correct. To be summoned as a Touken Danshi is to be expected to protect history.
For should a large enough deviation occur, the Time Government that ordained our creation shall decide that timeline ought be stopped - and that section of humanity will be forfeit.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
week 3, tuesday, dojo
You're in your office at the Riegan manor; a place that's more familiar to you than your bedroom these days, your chair well worn by your constant weight, and your desk growing ever messier as you compile notes and reminders. Right now, you have a map of Derdriu in front of you, chess pieces sitting atop it as though you were playing a particularly morbid game.
Your eyes are dry when you raise them toward Hilda, and you think you've probably been staring too hard.
"Just making sure that I haven't missed anything," you answer, tapping the map on your desk.
She only sighs in response, shaking her head. "You're not going to be in great fighting shape if you don't get some rest, you know."
Tomorrow, Edelgard's army will reach your city, where you'll make your last stand. You've evacuated Derdriu in anticipation of the battle, but your thoughts are spiraling still wondering how to minimize the casualties. Your country has already surrendered so many lives to this war, windows and orphans made by your hand. You can't pretend to be noble with your hands this bloodied, but still. You want to protect whatever you still can.
"... Hilda." Your voice is grave when you speak again. "Tomorrow, if you see that the tide is turning against us, I want you to escape, okay? I don't want you to throw your life away for a losing battle."
"Claude... do you really have so little faith in us?"
Not in them. But it feels a little late for faith now. You couldn't keep the Roundtable from fracturing. Lords defecting to the Empire because they believed the Alliance was doomed under your leadership. You couldn't keep the Great Bridge, letting the Empire march into your lands. Why would things change now, when the country has been steadily breaking around you for so long?
"I'd never doubt you. I just want to make sure that we account for all possibilities if my little scheme doesn't work out tomorrow."
"Maybe your plans would go better if you told us about them," she shoots back, and she's probably right.
But you don't relent. "Just trust me. And promise me that you'll escape if it comes down to it."
You can see her expression shift, not disappointment like you expect, just... sadness.
"I do, but you know you're a leader now, Claude. You need to trust others for them to trust you."
The memory starts to go dark there, and you don't hear your response, just the thudding of I can't, I can't beating alongside your chest.
Claude's brows are furrowed when the dojo comes back around them, a bit of remorse colouring his features. ]
Ah, sorry about that.
no subject
when he looks over at claude, his expression is only mildly curious.]
... what is it that you think you need apologize to me for?
no subject
These things always tend to be a little awkward.
no subject
I am glad to know more of you, though I do not appreciate it being against your will. I merely find it interesting... how you and Dimitri are at once alike, and vastly different.
... but we need not speak more of it, if you do not wish.
no subject
It's in the past, and Claude is ever forward facing. Why dwell on his regrets from the past? They can swallow him up far too easily. ]
Me and Dimitri? How so?
[ But he keeps to the topic, hesitantly, like prey still testing the safety of their surroundings. ]
no subject
There are times when you both will occasionally be reticent to share your thoughts with others.
Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd is motivated by an extreme sense of noblesse oblige - to maintain the visage of a king, for competence will keep his kingdom safe. And you, Claude... it is harder for me to place. [it's really not. it's trust issues, but mikazuki is aware of his own hypocrisy enough to not just say it.] But it is almost familiar, in how my crane too carries himself.
no subject
Tsuru? Trust issues? I wouldn't have guessed. [ He hardly knows him well enough to make a judgment, but it wouldn't surprise him. As far as Claude is concerned, people who trust and share openly are more the rarity.
They unnerve him. ]
I can't fault Dimitri too much. A leader needs to keep up the morale of their people. Sometimes you forget how to let your vulnerabilities show when you're at it long enough.
no subject
Fear and anxiety too can harm a kingdom from the inside.
[but mikazuki talks about it more in a sense of history - of what he's seen, and witnessed. and yet at the same time, despite it being in the distant past, there is something somber in his tone.]
But that is a lesson one must learn on their own.
no subject
[ It's much easier to talk about Dimitri, posture relaxing as he grows thoughtful. ]
The Dimitri I knew was surrounded by childhood friends. I wouldn't have known he had a difficult time with confiding in them.
no subject
[that's something that mikazuki also knows perfectly well.
time for some stardust!
”I’m a crescent moon at best.”
There is a funny pattern among your comrades - how excited they are to make play that they have switched identities. Curiously, this is the first time that it has happened to you.
It is done because you are told that you are too difficult - and there is something wryly amused to your smile when it is said. After all, not once did you ever suggest that you were a person who is easy to handle either.
Hearing your own thoughts reflected back to you is only proof of that.
You have committed a great act of defiance - you have told the humans of your mission. You have told them of your goal to keep history exactly as it is, and their role in it. You do not care for how you are criticized. Sometimes, they listen. Sometimes, they do not.
Either way - you will take care of it.
(But is that not the greatest tragedy of all? For human possibility to be relegated to something as finite as fate. And yet you have seen the tragedy that comes from when you deviate. You have seen how all of humanity might be made forfeit, if you prize one over the many.
That does not mean that your heart does not break.)
It is only when he begins to speak of your master that you feel something new. Ire. Your smile turns sharp, and you encourage him to stop.
. . .
But Higekiri continues to speak - and he talks of your master at that. Your master, who inspires this ache in your chest whenever you think of him. He was worried about you. Somehow, even when you strive to solve it all on your own, you manage to make trouble for others.
It is simply unfortunate - that that is not reason enough to get you to stop. ]
no subject
He doesn't know if there's a right or wrong. It's just making a decision that you can live with.
He doesn't know if that's possible either. ]
... I won't pry too much, if that's what you prefer but. Can you see the future?
no subject
It is curious to ask such a question to an old sword, who is from years far ahead, and is tasked with protecting history.
[can he see the future? or can he only see varied versions of the past?]
If you could define them in human perspectives... What is the future, Claude? And what is this past?
no subject
Ah, you're a time traveler?
no subject
I was summoned into this form in the year 2205, so from that point in time as a blade I was already over a thousand years old... but have traveled many centuries back countless times.
[so the answer is yes, and he's even older than his profiles say]
no subject
Well, that certainly complicates your question of past and future. Though even before you confirmed it, I have to wonder... meeting Dimitri here has has made me think about it. My past should be his future, but that's not necessarily the case.
We come from alternate timelines, and even if I were from his future exactly, there's enough deviation in the present to alter what lies ahead for him. I don't think the "future" is a set fate that we're bound to.
no subject
.... for better or for worse, I am glad that such a thing is possible for you. That no fate is predetermined, and the future is still yet yours to shape.
For in my realm, the existence of myself and my comrades is meant to prevent such deviations.
no subject
... To what end?
no subject
For should a large enough deviation occur, the Time Government that ordained our creation shall decide that timeline ought be stopped - and that section of humanity will be forfeit.
no subject
Why? What happens when there's a deviation?