... I learned it later, but it doesn't change all I've done. It didn't stop me.

[ It was too late by then. It was too late to stop, to go back, to change anything. He doesn't want when he learned the truth to color the story. Does it matter that he thought of them as nothing but monsters until the end? No. They're dead. That is the point. ]

If things were different, I'm sure I would be able to.

[ The underlying answer is no. Not with how people are here and how this system works. ]