shaft | inbox.

[ they are chillin' in their run-down apartment, five feet apart because they're gen. (no actually she is reading over claude's shoulder as he stalks the network, because she hasn't been bothered to figure out the tech herself yet.) ]

..."Claudia"? Really?

[ There are probably other, more important things that they should be doing, but Claude can't help but find Constance's indomitable spirit somewhat charming. ]

It's the name of one of my ancestors.

[ He looks back at her with a grin that gives away exactly how clever he thinks he is. ]

I'm showing respect.

[ nothing is more important than gossiping over the network, this is some quality time they're having here and they're just (quite unfortunately) missing any actual tea. ]

Mmhmm. [ whatever you say, leader man... ]

I wonder how many poor souls out there will believe you're a nice girl from a noble family... [ she would metaphorically popcorn, but the thought of having to bang it into existence is rather exhausting in of itself. ]

[ Claude had considered that, and then ultimately decided that he didn't care.

Instead, he just winks at Hilda. ]

Would it make me more attractive to you if I were Claudia?

[ oh claude, you rascal. she stifles a giggle behind her hand, obviously entertained by the idea. ]

Well, we could try finding you some frilly dresses and makeup and put that to the test.

[ (sorry hilda is so heteronormative... despite being wildly bisexual...) maybe she can doll claude up for a special someone else? it would be work, but it would be fun... ]

[ Did he walk himself into a mistake?

Oh well. ]

Is this another ploy to get me to dress up as Edelgard again? [ He raises an eyebrow at her. ] Is there something you're not telling me?

[ Could they be bitter exes with lingering sexual tension? ]

[ Claude is lovely, but even he has nothing on Edelgard... sorry, it's just no contest. (though Hilda will refrain from saying as much to spare his delicate feelings, because they're such good friends and all.) ]

Have I ever lied to you, my dear Claude?

[ only every other day of their lives. ]

I'm just thinking, since we're here and there isn't much else to do... [ she tilts her head, a smile flitting over her features. ] ...You wouldn't ask if you weren't a little curious, right?

Trying to take advantage of my curiosity, are you?

[ He can't actually say that he's curious—he doubts that he would make a convincing woman regardless of Hilda's talent with make up.

Moreover, why should he try to look like a woman anyway??? ]

I don't know... I'd have to part with my beard, and I can tell you now that the process of regrowing it isn't pretty.

[ Wispy pre-beard hair... ]

It's not my fault you're so nosy all the time.

[ Claude may be resistant to her tomfoolery, but he isn't immune to his own inquisitiveness... but he makes a good point. ]

Aww, I am quite fond of the facial hair. But if you change your mind, you know where to find me.

[ she'll help you with your catfishing schemes ]

asl

[ contrary to popular belief, this is somehow a buttdial and not a booty call ]

[ tf is "asl"? ]

And to you as well.

[ all that work she put into crafting that text and this is the reply she gets back??

jk

like ten minutes later: ]

i'm so sorry! i took my bracelet off to do some cleaning and i guess i accidently sent that message when i bumped it around
i hope i didn't bother you!!